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Dating with Psoriasis

First of all, allow me to apologize for my small leave of absence. Fear not, I’m back! NOW… let’s tackle this little issue: Dating with Psoriasis. UGH.

To sum it up briefly, it sucks. People can be particularly unkind and surprisingly vain. It’s difficult to meet someone for the first time and explain a skin condition that can be a little disgusting maybe and a little off-putting. I am on a few dating websites and I try to broach the topic fairly soon. It saves me time and aggravation. I don’t let it get me down though and neither should you! Be confident and own your flaky, raw skin. They don’t like it??? Maybe you could teach them a thing or two about what having “tough skin” really means.

I would love to hear anyones stories though! I’m sure theres some winners out there!!! I wonder, do you think it’s better to save the pso. talk for a few dates in or do you address it before you meet or on the first date??

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29 thoughts on “Dating with Psoriasis

  1. I had one horrible experience that resulted in a level of sensitivity about the psoriasis that I had never experienced. I always have had “the talk” as a way of preparing someone and explaining what is underneath my clothes. One man I told, although educated, was a moron. Rather than using the Web to look up what psoriasis was, he excused me of having an STD and then said that I had psoriasis due to having poor hygiene and being unclean. Needless to say, “the talk” changed dramatically. I was however fortunate to find a man who also has inverse psoriasis and although the relationship didn’t last, it renewed my faith in finding a partner who was mature and would be understanding… Which I did. Unfortunately, getting to him sucked along the way. I was married when the condition’s onset began, so being 33 and newly single, it was hard figuring out how to be. I caught on quickly and protected myself… But it wasn’t fun. For men or women, it’s hard, especially given the fact that psoriasis can occur in pretty personal areas of one’s body.

    Melissa

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    1. I agree COMPLETELY…. but actually psoriasis has nothing to do with poor hygiene. People with psoriasis are actually MORE clean which leads to our irritated skin. I relate to you so much but i say, if you cant see beneath my skin then you don’t deserve what’s underneath it.

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  2. I’m 33 and didn’t get psoriasis till I was in my early 20’s. It has made dating an interesting sport. In some cases I have been able to “hide” it the duration of a relationship with a combination of knee socks and 3/4 length cardigans and other times I am just upfront about my “scales”… I try very hard not to let what some random guy MIGHT think about my psoriasis affect how I am going to date. Heck I have so much more stuff to worry about like is he going to like my shoes lol. Like you I’m on a dating website, I don’t announce I have P but I make sure if I’m going to meet them on a date they are forewarned. After all why waste time with someone who is a waste. I have only been rejected truly for it once and it hurt for a moment, but then I figured who would want to be the mother of some judgemental mans children anyway lol?!

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  3. It’s been my experience that my spots bother me a lot more than they seem to bother my dates. Everyone has been very supportive and kinda about them. I also use dating websites, so I put it right in my profile – “Black hair, brown eyes, tons of tattoos, and psoriasis” then I make sure they know before we meet… they always tell me it’s fine, they don’t really see the spots. I stress about it endlessly. I feel like a woman’s skin is supposed to be soft, and mine is not soft.

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  4. Hi, my Name is destiny. I have been scared to bring it up in relationships I just cover up. Well I started to not worry just show it and I found someone who accepts it & loves me for me..

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  5. I have had psoriasis since birth, am 23 now. It has grown all over my body in thin red flakey patches. Friendships were difficult to form with children who had no idea what it was. I was outcasted a lot,however it gave me preparation for the dating world. When meeting males would be myself- happy, talkative etc. I let my personality intrigue them or deter them. I often wear jeans and only show my arms where it is thin. By the time they noticed my dry skin, I was able to casually say “oh that, its psoriasis..short story, basically eczema”..most people are aware of eczema and do find it easier to deal with. My next mission was…my quantity of psoriasis..it covers my legs, arms, torso, back, patches on my face, scalp..all in various levels of colour,flake and thickness. So to look at, not quite pretty and to touch was even worse. However many guys saw me for me and we had a normal relationship. Currently, my boyfriends mother has psoriasis and he completely sees it as normal and hes the first person I believe ‘forgets’ its there. I believe it is becoming common knowledge now, more accepted.

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    1. It definitely is becoming more common knowledge due to people who are willing to speak out about it, like you!! Do you see a dermatologist? I had so much of my body covered that I was able to receive UV Phototherapy. It sounds like you have it in enough areas that you may be qualified to receive it as well. It has cleared mine up tremendously so i recommend it !!!

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  6. I have sever scalp psoriasis. I have tried to hide it and have been open about it. Plenty of ignorant dates comment by saying, have you tried dandruff shampoo or don’t they make something for that. May best looser comment was how did you get that. Dating with this is difficult but as a attractive and confident person I feel one day my equal will find me and except me for the things I can not change. It makes you over come feelings and brings new challenges to your life. Dating with any flaw is hard but not impossible.

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  7. Head n Shoulders Clinical Strength for Seborrheic Dermatitis Shampoo.Its the best for Psoriasis.I discovered it a few yrs ago and have used it ever since.I would recommend it to anyone who deals with scalp psoriasis.If I start to get a patch or break out it removes it almost immediately.
    I am a cosmetologist and have recommended it often and to no avail.It has helped many people.Try it youll like it.JS.

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    1. Hi!im 33!i have psoriasis for about 4 years now.i have scalp psoriasis before but its quite manageable now coz i used dandruff shampoo before.my problem now is in my genital areas.when it really flares up.its really disgusting to see my genital area coz i scratch it and it really gurts.any recommendation on what feminine wash to use or is it ok that i will use panty liners?..i hope you can give me some advise.

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      1. I sometimes get it there too so don’t feel bad!!!! My recommendations are to not use any scented soap, maybe try the tar soap I use or even head and shoulders shampoo… also do NOT scratch it’s tough but it’s the best thing you can do to stop the progression. Also do not shave. And consult your physician! Don’t be shy! 🙂

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  8. I am 22, and i have psoriasis for about 6 years now. I am going very little on a dates, especial in a last year or two which accidentally corresponds with psoriasis expanding a lot! And now you can’t just ignore it’s everywhere. And I am little afraid of the responds from people when they do see it. I know all what to say and explain it but I got this stuck in my all that she will say I’ll just find someone without psoriasis, because its not pretty at all.

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    1. I understand completely. It was so difficult to date when mine flared. Especially since most dates are over dinner where someone can be easily turned off. I think whats MOST IMPORTANT for you is to become comfortable in your own skin, learn how to manage your psoriasis and THEN date. Then you can confidently look at the person you are out on a date with and say “look, i have psoriasis. it’s not contagious. i prefer to tell you right away since I’m sure you notice it.” and let them ask you whatever they want. People fear what they do not understand, so explain it! =)

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  9. I’m male 33 and have had p for about 10-11 years. Unfortunately I get p in “uncomfortable” areas and it’s been a nightmare for me and dating.
    I’m sure its just as hard for you ladies, but being a guy that area is a super sensitive subject and well, body part.
    Its been difficult for me to except at times, but I’ve been excepting myself more and more and working towards putting it in remission.
    I’ve had to have “THE TALK” a few times and lucky for me the woman I’ve met have been excepting, but I just cant get over the way “I feel about it”.
    This has effected me by not being 100% comfortable with being sexual and thus the woman in my life seem to take notice and think I dont like them because I dont always want sex.

    This sucks, I do want to be sexual. 😦
    Well back to the dating websites I go.

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    1. I can totally relate to you. I think the best way to go is to date, go on a few dates first, and then explain to them your “situation”. I know maybe on the first date, it’s fine to mention having psoriasis (in fact I encourage it) but maybe wait until a few dates in to mention the private areas. I can see how, as a woman, It’s not that I would be grossed out as much as I would maybe think you were lying and you actually had an STD. You know? But assure them that it’s just the same as the stuff on your skin… maybe even have a website or two saved on your computer in “tabs” so that when you have your date over the house you can let them read a little if they feel more comfortable being more informed prior to any sexual encounters. PLUS you should always being using protection so that’s like a little barrier anyway! Check this out >> http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20228822,00.html

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